273rd story

Shahab was invited to a poetry gathering in Shiraz.
He decided to take advantage of the time and make a pilgrimage.
First, he visited Hafez’s tomb, and afterward, came out to catch a taxi to go to Saadi’s mausoleum.

A battered, eggplant-colored Pride car, driven by a weary old man, clattered to a stop in front of me.

Shahab asked:
” To Saadi’s place?”

As we set off, the driver asked,
“Weren’t you just at Hafez’s tomb?”
Shahab said, “Yes.”

The driver said,
“I don’t like him! Hafez is useless!”

As a poet who holds both of these literary giants in the highest regard, Shahab replied, a bit upset:
“Please don’t say that, sir! These are the pinnacles of Iranian and global literature.”

The driver firmly said:
“You’re mistaken! Hafez has ruined many lives! With those worthless fortunes of his! When I wanted to get married, I took a fortune and it said:
‘Take the lock of that moon-faced beauty and don’t tell tales…’

We proposed to the girl — she turned out to be a demoness, enough to make a nonbeliever weep! Then, for my career choice, I took a fortune, and it said:
‘The favour of those in power turned this copper into gold…’
I left my father’s business and took a government job — ran like a dog for 30 years, and this is what I ended up with! Then a guy came to propose to my daughter. I took a fortune — it said:
‘Prepare the bridal chamber, the groom has arrived…’
We married her off based on Hafez’s words — the guy turned out awful and ruined my daughter’s life! And when I retired with my severance money, I took another fortune — asked what to do with the money. It said:
‘Put it in the market!’
So I put it in the stock market — and it all went up in smoke!”

Shahab asked:
“Wait… Hafez wrote poems about the stock market, too?”
He replied:
“That one that says:
‘Union became possible, and kisses and caresses too…’”

I said in disbelief:
“What does kissing have to do with the stock market?!”

He said:
“Well, we interpreted ‘kisses’ as a sign to invest in the bourse!
And the final one — we were unsure whether to buy a car from a stranger or from my brother-in-law.
So we took another fortune. It said:
‘People of insight make deals with those they know…’
We bought the car from my brother-in-law, and he dumped this junker on me.
We’ve spent double the price repairing it!”

By the time they got to Saadi’s tomb, Shahab said,
“In my opinion, you should stop making life decisions based on Hafez’s fortunes.”

He replied:
“Oh, I absolutely won’t do that again!”
And immediately added:
“These days I’ve been using Saadi’s fortunes — he’s the real deal!”